Dealing with People
By: Tonya Foust Mead

Do you have a hard time dealing with other people- their personalities, idiosyncrasies, and personal failings? Do most people have a hard time dealing with you?

Cause for Business Failure
Les Giblin, author, How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People, reported that between  66% to 90% of business failures are a result of failures in human relations.

Cause for Professional Success
In analyzing the records of 10,000 people, the Carnegie Institute of Technology,  concluded  that just 15% of success is due to technical training and know-how, while a staggering  85% is due to personality factors.

Cause for Personal Failure
A study by Harvard University as well as one reported by Dr. Albert Wiggam in a syndicated column titled, “Let’s explore your Mind” found that out of 4,000 people who lost their job, about 10% were due to incompetence. Ninety percent of the job losses, on the other hand were attributed to personality conflicts with co-workers and supervisors.

How to Influence Others
Mr. Giblin’s book, I am reminded too of a more altruistic message espoused by Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is perhaps the very first book that served as a catalyst for my interest in psychology, human behavior and education. 

Giblin lays it straight by enumerating the following four points:
1.    We are all egotists.
2.    We are all more interested in ourselves than anything else in the world.
3.    Every person you meet wants to feel important, and amount to something.
4.    There is a craving in every human being for the approval of others, so that he can approve of himself.

Give Away your Wealth
“No, not me,” you may counter. “I’m trying to build my wealth, grow my small business—not give it away.” Actually, Giblin argues that you have amassed more wealth than you may know. ‘Every human being is a millionaire in human relations.’ It was given to you freely upon birth.  You have an unlimited asset, storehouse, a bottomless pit of goodwill so to say.


Most people however, particularly small business owners when trying to build a business are too busy to care about human relations.  Often entrepreneurs are too overwhelmed with increasing revenue, maximizing profits, handling mediocre tasks workers refuse, reducing employee pilferage, and networking to wade through the complexities of human behavior.

And yet, feeding the universal hunger of the need for attention and approval is the cheapest means for staying in and growing your thriving business.

Three Ways to Make Others Feel Important
There are three proven methods for making others feel important according to Giblin.
1.    Believe that every person is a child of God
2.    Notice others. Several studies show that people work harder when the supervisor takes an interest in them.
3.    Minimize your self importance.  Yes, you’re the man about town, the business owner. Resist the temptation  to impress others with your own sense of worth.

White Magic
Finally, the best advice for dealing with people is to actively listen to them. Former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court was asked one day on how to get elected to office. The Honorable Chief Justice replied:

“To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic
and understanding manner is perhaps the most
effective mechanism in the world for
getting along with people and tying up
their friendship for good. Too few people practice
the ‘white magic’ of being good listeners.”

So the next time you throw your hands up in despair- go against conventional wisdom. Give your wealth away and practice a little white magic. It may be just what you need to give you and your struggling business a jolt of energy.

Dr. Mead, PhD, MBA, MA www.ishareknowledge.com is a consultant specializing in human behavior, school and social psychology. She can be contacted at: tonya@ishareknowledge.com