Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line is Crossed, Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym, 2005, Free Spirit Publishing.

Reviewed by Tonya Foust Mead

After years as editors, reporters and volunteers of girl-serving organizations, the authors of this book identified disrespect as a common experience shared by girls across cultures, socio-economic levels, regions, and ethnicity.  As such, they talked to and interviewed hundreds of teen girls, compiled online submissions and created a workbook for helping girls get the respect they deserve.
 
How common then is the problem of lack of respect? The show of disrespect and impinging upon the rights of teen girls is manifested in society in a number of ways. For instance, a most oft cited survey by Davis, et al. (1997) showed that one out of five girls indicated that she had been sexually or physically abused. Furthermore, the prevalence of violence was considered by one in four girls as the reason why they wished to leave home. Victims of abuse and those traumatized by domestic violence often turn their feelings of loss of control, helplessness and insecurity inward and express them outwardly as guilt, self blame which  may lead to depression if left untreated.  The girls surveyed by Davis, et al also reported that when depressed or stressed, they lacked support leading to an increased probability that they would have problems with substance abuse and eating disorders. And finally, while resilient teens have the inner strength and self concept to prevail during times of high environmental stressors, many studies, including Davis et al, 1997 showed that the self esteem and self concept for girls erodes as they mature. The converse is true for boys according to a 1991 study by the American Association of University Women.
 
A twelve chapter workbook, Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line is Crossed is organized into three major headings:
 
Part One: Respect on the Inside. This segment of the workbook identifies the seven basic rights of girls and provides a brief summary of the Equal Rights Amendment. Perhaps the most useful component of this segment is ‘The DISH on Disrespect’  whereby the authors encourage the readers to listen to their gut instincts, to be in tune with one’s bodily physiological reactions,  to set reasonable boundaries, and to practice speaking up for oneself.
 
Part Two: Getting and Giving. This section of the book provides the most practical advice for adolescents uninvolved in state-assisted family supportive services.  In addition to discussing ways to get respect and providing vignettes of real life experiences, sample dialogues, and suggestions for improving interactions and communication within the family, with friends and among boyfriends and or girlfriends, the authors provide ample space for the readers to jot notes, answer discussion questions and explore one’s feelings.
 
Part Three: Taking Action. This section is the most comprehensive and yet it is written in a lighthearted way; both inoffensive and unobtrusive to the casual reader. Nonetheless it is replete with useful information by which the adolescent reader affected by abuse or violence may find life affirming and lifesaving. Some of the chapter headings include: Dealing with Abuse, Defending Yourself and Fighting for Your Rights, etc.
 
Conclusion
 
This book should be included within the resource section of any guidance counselor or school psychologists’ library. It may serve useful to incorporate specific activities and questionnaires into school curricula in which the topics of Self Esteem, Home Economics, and/or  Family Living are explored.  It may prove as a vital resource for  assistance in creating the specific action plans or tasks of an  IEP or special behavioral plan for girls in crisis. Finally, for girls who are currently involved with any state-assisted social services program in which the neglect, abuse or trauma was deemed so great as  to have been placed outside of the home, this book may be too simple and superficial in its approach.
 
References
 
American Association of University Women (1991). Shortchanging girls, shortchanging America. Washington, DC: Author.
 
Davis, K., Schoen, C., Greenberg, L., Desroches, C., Abrames, M. (released September 1997). The Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls. New York: Commonwealth Fund (publication forthcoming).

Dr. Mead, PhD, MBA, MA www.ishareknowledge.com is a consultant specializing in human behavior, school and social psychology. She can be contacted at: tonya@ishareknowledge.com