By: Tonya Foust Mead

 Here are some helpful tips for the repatriated family returning home after living overseas for an extensive period of time.

 Say Goodbye to the Past.  In the rush to pack your belongings, order shipping containers and/or oversee the entire moving process with professional movers, take the time to wish farewell to your dear friends, surrogate sisters, business colleagues and even acquaintances. If you have children, make sure that you provide opportunities for your teenagers, kids, and even toddlers to arrange sleepovers and farewell parties. And in your haste, don’t forget to offer support to your expatriate spouse. If you don’t have the time, hire a temporary personal assistant to collect, store and computerize contact information from business cards and memoranda.  Provide suggestions to create a telephone tree to gather USA-based network of professional referrals and contacts. Even if your spouse maintains his position with his present employer, an expanded USA-based network can open doors for future opportunities.

Expect the Unexpected. Even the best-planned international move can go awry.  Typical scenarios involve: inability to find the right apartment or home in the right neighborhood; major repairs required in your own home, making it inhabitable for a few months; and lost or stolen household goods to name just a few. Last minute and extra charges that have been added to a pre-paid and an ‘all inclusive’ moving contract are routine.  Sometimes ‘living from a suitcase’, sharing the home of your parents or in-laws, and long-term room rental in an established hotel represent the norm.  Try not to fall apart during this stage of uncertainty and turmoil.

Re-Connection. The last a final stage, and perhaps the most rewarding is re-connecting with others. Although human nature mandates that we ‘get back in the flow of things’ as soon as possible, it is best to allow ample time for closure (stage one) and turmoil (stage two) before making a major effort to re-connect with your community, new neighbors, intimate friends, and family. However, once your household goods have arrived, the children are in school, and the hubby is away at work (or taking a stab at early retirement), immerse yourself with group activities, clubs and parent programs offered by your children’s schools.

Tonya Foust Mead, PhD, MBA, MA http://www.ishareknowldge.com/ is a consultant specializing in human behavior, school and social psychology. She can be contacted at: tonya@ishareknowledge.com. She invites you to visit her marriage advice column, appearing three times weekly at: http://www.examiner.com/x-4793-DC-Marriage-Advice-Examiner.