By: Tonya Foust Mead

In the alleged action of throwing her granddaughter off a parking garage walkway, a Fairfax County woman has taken  the holiday shopping experience to a whole new level. See the entire article here.
In the Psychology of Anger (2010) a psychologist has argued that aggressive impulses are necessary.  They provide us with the energy and drive we need to stay competitive. The rationalization is that without inner aggression, we  ‘will [would] never  achieve anything in life.’ (Roy, 2010) Whether we agree or disagree with that statement is not the point. The purpose of this article is find ways to help control angry outbursts which may lead (if uncontrolled) to death and violence.

Patterns that lead to Anger

• Identify events, situations, and people that trigger your anger. If it is the two year old granddaughter of whom you babysit, refrain from babysitting and/or remove yourself from the situation.
• Take a look at your surroundings when you feel your blood boiling. Is it crowded, loud, noisy? Find a more relaxing environment or ‘calm’ space within the chaos and confusion.
• What were you actually doing when your anger attack took hold? Were you physically exerting yourself, climbing a flight of ten stairs,  combating the 5:00pm rush hour traffic, or multi-tasking? If so, resolve to find ways to minimize the activity causing you stress.
• Now that you have analyzed the events, surroundings and action- the hardest part to deciphering your anger code is to reach around, beyond the emotions and deep within to uncover the actual problem.
• Visualize a stop sign. Do not make another move until you have stopped to think about what is making you so angry. Do you feel helpless, hurt? Are you afraid, overwhelmed, under-appreciated?
• When you feel that you are falling into a self-defeatist, destructionist mode, take a deep breath, count to ten, then reverse the count by counting backwards.  Remember once you commit to changing the patterns that lead to angry outbursts, you can modify your reaction.