Improving Parent Child Family Interactions

Negative Parent Interactions

Often students communicate poorly with teachers, administrators and peers because appropriate and effective communication and positive interaction have not been modeled within the home. To help parents model appropriate interactions, consider following these suggestions:

Parent and School Engagement Tips

1. Ask parents to calm down in a quiet place and be in a positive frame of mind before engaging with their children.
2. Partner with the parents by modeling appropriate behavior yourself (don’t interrupt, give positive feedback, recognize and praise small steps, give lots of encouragement, and use empathy).
3. Share and explain the Cycle of Strengthening Behavior and Communication with Families graphic.

Cycle to Strengthening Family Communication

1. Inform parents using the Albert Bandura, Social Learning Theory that children learn from their parents.
2. Remind parents to moderate their your tone of voice and cadence to convey love, support and appreciation for the value that the child brings into your life
3. Encourage parents and teachers to verbalize praise often.  Use simple, but specific, praise phrases that clearly identify the desired behaviors. For example, “Thank you for raising your hand before answering the question” lets the student know the specific behavior and condition for which she was praised. General praise (e.g., “good job”) is less meaningful for students. 
4. Encourage parents to speak with empathy when engaging their child using the following examples (use empathetic statements rather than dismissive statements):

Practice Empathetic vs. Dismissive Statements

Erikson’s Psychosocial States of Development

1. Parents and teachers must frame their communication content (what is said) and style (the tone used) to meet the stage at which their child can understand.
2. Refrain from making crude references to s** acts, using sarcasm, dark humor and criticism when speaking to children that lack understanding.
3. Young children and some adults, are still undergoing early adulthood phases and may not have acquired the reasoning skills, ability to use logic when listening to and speaking about complex ideas and abstract thoughts.
4. Young adults, teens, adolescents and toddlers may be more impulsive and not fully realizing the consequences of actions, therefore use messages without emphasis on coerision, strict punitive measures and threats, until such time it is understood the child has an understanding of if/then statements and cause/effect.